Still In Love

Melanie once invited a woman to a Family Readiness Group meeting. It was just before deployment, and as FRG President, I felt we should get to know each other before our spouses left. To let them know that they won't be alone, just because their spouses are away. Her response, "I'll go after they leave. We're newlyweds, and I still love my husband."

When Melanie first told me this, I laughed. Later, I started to be insulated by this comment. Does she think that the rest of us no longer love our husbands? Just because we've been married for years, instead of just married? I have noticed that, while maybe not this sentiment exactly, many women feel that they love their husbands more than I love mine. I don't really have a problem with this. See, I might think I love my husband more than they love theirs.

I joke with my fellow deployment veterans about wishing our spouses would just leave already. That we can't wait for having the house to ourselves, and control over the remote. I mean it, I want that remote! The truth is, I miss my husband when he's gone, desperately. I cry when he's gone. I comfort my kids. I take over all the responsibilities of running a household. I do it all BECAUSE I love my husband. The build up to deployment is stressful, and emotional. We want it over with. Plus, the sooner they leave, the sooner they're home.

My husband is a United States Navy Sailor. I am ridiculously proud of him. He is out there, in dangerous locations, defending our country. He's my hero. I don't call him complaining about every little thing at home. I don't beg him to come home. There are even spouses that do everything in their power to try to get their spouses sent home. Not me. Not because I don't love him, but because I do.

Being a military spouse isn't for everyone. It's sometimes the hardest thing I've ever done, but I believe in my husband, with all my heart. He isn't in the highest paid profession, we sometimes struggle to make ends meet. He is gone for long periods of time. He works long hours when he's home. Our life is often misunderstood by others. (My son's teacher once told me that I definitely live a unique life, and she doesn't think she could do it). Despite all this, I wouldn't change it for anything.

I'm sure, to an outsider, it may look like I just go about my life, not caring if my husband is away. That I don't miss him when he's gone. Trust me, I do. It's just that I do what I need to, in order to support my husband in his chosen career. Because I love him.

My husband and I were friends for two years, dated/were engaged for another three years, and have been married for nine years, and I still love him. We may not be newlyweds, but no one can possibly love their spouse more than I love mine. He knows what he means to me, and that's all that matters. So if you think you love your spouse more than I love mine, that's okay. Maybe everyone should feel that way.