TCNW in All About That Bass
It all started with a song. A great song. A gorgeous "curvy" girl singing about her curves, and loving yourself no matter what society tells you is "beautiful".
Melanie and I pretty much fell in love with the both the song, and the incredibly talented singer immediately. The message being one we strive to pass on to our own daughters. We searched YouTube for Meghan Trainor, and not only loved the video (and it's message), but the fact that this bubbly, beautiful, confident woman, also sang a song about something very near and dear to our hearts, Take Care of Our Soldiers. Could we love her anymore?
It seemed natural that when we decided to embarrass ourselves for the entertainment of our followers, we chose to do a dance to her song. We hoped to be silly, and give our Facebook fans a laugh. We also hoped to show our daughters that although we ourselves aren't physically "perfect", we could show them that we didn't care what anyone else thought, and we were confident enough to put ourselves out there.
We have both been the chubby kid We have both been the skinny, "hot" chick. We've dealt with bullies, and other awful things that people do to each other both ways. We are mothers and Navy wives. We are strong, confident women. Or so we thought.
We had so much fun putting together, and learning the dance. We worked hard on it.
Then, we recorded it.
We decided to see what we needed to work on by recording a practice. This video very nearly ruined the entire project.
Tiffany:
I watched that video, and desperately tried to keep the smile on my face in front of Melanie. I tried to look at it only in the way it was intended, to see what we needed to work on. Inside, however, I broke. Here I was doing a silly dance to a song that is all about loving your body, and I felt like a whale. I went home and cried for two days. I have disliked my body for a while now. I have struggled with losing the weight I gained during my first pregnancy for years. I suffer from Depression. It causes me to have a serious lack of motivation, no interest in things that I usually enjoy, and a major lack of energy. All of these things have caused me to be at a weight that is currently the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and I was looking at it all from an outsider's perspective for the first time.
I avoid mirrors and cameras as much as I can. Starting Two Crazy Navy Wives with Melanie has forced me to put myself out there more. We make videos and have photo shoots, and as uncomfortable as it makes me, I force myself through them. I try to pretend that I'm not upset by my appearance. I feel like the fat, frumpy, person next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. This blog, Facebook page, and eventual business (not to mention my friendship with Melanie), are worth the uncomfortableness to me. Watching that video though, was devastating. I couldn't get past it. There was no getting around it. No hiding it. It was all out there. I'm fat. I still can't bear to look at it. The only things that have kept me from fully sinking into a dark cloud of depression, are my kids, my husband (who thinks I'm hot, and tells me frequently), and Melanie. I was not going to let myself give up on the video, although I desperately wanted to.
Melanie:
I loved the song the minute I heard it. A song that declared it was okay to to have a booty. A song that said we are on to you, you photo shop fiends. I want my daughter to feel confident, no matter what is on the outside.
Tiffany is right. We put the dance together, had fun and then shot a video to see where we needed work. First, let me say we'd been dancing in comfy clothes, we were sweaty, and our hair a mess. I saw a woman who had recently stopped nursing, and lost half her breasts, leaving me very pear shaped. I've always had that booty booty. When we do our box reviews and am sitting next to Tiffany I always feel a little less glamorous. She has this amazing way she does her makeup, and a gorgeous face. I feel a little plain Jane. I will argue with her statement that she is fat, but I will do so privately. So I learned through this video that I have body issues, and compare myself to other women, which is something I don't want any of my three daughters to ever feel. It is the next phase in working on me and allowing me to grow. I hope you enjoy the video. We worked hard on it. My teen says its cute and is not at all embarrassed by it.
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We made a promise to our followers, and we made the video. We hope it entertains them, as it was intended, because it certainly embarrasses us, as intended. We aren't as happy with our figures as we should be, but we learned a lot about ourselves and each other while making it. We have decided to start working out together, not because there is anything wrong with our curves, but because it is something we need to do for us. Not only will exercise make us healthier, but research has proven that exercise helps alleviate the symptoms of Depression and Anxiety, things we both suffer from. We both hope to one day be as marvelous as Meghan Trainor, and all the other wonderful women out there that are comfortable in their skin, whether they are a size 20, or a size 00. Women are strong, resilient, amazing creatures, no matter what size they wear. Nothing is sexier than confidence, and we're building ours.
Enjoy the video.
TCNW in All About That Bass
