And Justice For All

I have six kids. This in no way makes me an expert in parenting or anything else and I feel strongly that every parent finds their own way and use the tools that works for them. By following that belief I have been, so far, highly successful. Do you hear it? There is a giant HOWEVER coming your way. Sometimes my kids throw me a curve ball.

 I have one child that we shall call Cubby. He is 11 and  he doesn't just hate chores. This one is a champion skate-out-of-chores gold medalist. Once I decided if I had him help in the kitchen where I was cooking, there would be no way he could get out of it, right? No sooner had I turned my back for one second did he disappear.  I have tried charts with and without stickers, graphs, pebbles in a jar, prize boxes, treasure chests, trips to the dollar store, prize on a shelf and anything else you can possibly think of including just asking him to do his chores.

I dreaded his first parent teacher conference. But I got nothing but glowing praise. I've never heard anything but what a pleasure he is in class and how hard he works. I've gotten used to it. I just smile and tell the teacher thank you and say things like I wish I knew that boy. Which brings us to a random Tuesday. He wanted to play outside. The following VERY typical conversation ensued.
I asked "Did you do your homework?"
He said "of course."
I said "let's go check.
He said "Okay."
And he did do his homework.

I asked "Did you clean your room?"
He said "of course."
I said "let's go check.
He said "Okay."
And I said "But if it's not you aren't going outside."

 So we went to look, and of course it hadn't been touched, but then he knew that. He argued that he'd do it now and I felt it was too late. He thought it was unfair because I hadn't been clear enough. He said he thought we'd check his room and then he'd clean it. I walked into the living room and asked the oldest two kids to have a seat. I introduced Cubby to Judge Daddyman. My husband is always happy to play along. So he called to order the family court. I presented my case. Cubby took a turn presenting his. The jury members reached a verdict and the Judge handed down the sentence. The Jury felt I had given clear instruction. The Judge said Cubby had a choice to make. He needed to clean his room and do one chore that would make ME happy. And he had to think of it on his own and complete it or he could forfeit his outside time. The room got clean and I also got a clean backyard. We had some laughs and talked more about it at dinner too.


So all in all this worked out beautifully for us. It was very impromptu and fly-by-the-seat-of my-pants. It took what had become a very regular exchange and added a little fun drama to it. I made sure to keep it light. I didn't want him to feel he was being picked on and he didn't. I think in certain situations I would absolutely do it again. I wouldn't choose to make it an every Tuesday kinda thing though. I'm pretty sure my kids would start to feel it to was a chore but I am sure the kids will meet with Judge Daddyman again.